Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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