I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My vagina just clenched in fear
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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