Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
