real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
