One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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