If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
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Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
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Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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