rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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