Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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