No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
