rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I will be naked everywhere
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize