we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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