True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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