Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Buhtt sex?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
