Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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