what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
