He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
