is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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