Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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