It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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