What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
