We're facebook friends in real life
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
