On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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