so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I think my moral compass just broke
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