we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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