maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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