Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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