Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize