he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
