Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.