Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
