Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
