we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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