you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
