pedialite and red bull = repair kit
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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