Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
So squirting runs in the family.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize