Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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