You're so nebulous sometimes
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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