P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
