38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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