READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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