i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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