Please, let me fuck your mom
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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