With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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