Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
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captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Someone came in the potted fern
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Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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