That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
