I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
