i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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