My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize