I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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