Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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