That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
