Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize