i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize