Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
