Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
