Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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